Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Not NFL, But Man...

So many laterals...

The New York Pop Warner Football Jets

I was going to make a joke about the Jets thinking THEY were the team that went to England, and thought they were playing cricket, and that three points would be plenty for a win, but I have no idea how cricket works, if they even have points, or if three are a lot. But that line of "comedy" (in the very loosest sense of the word) is going nowhere, so I'll stick with the far less inventive but far more accurate "J-E-T-S! S-U-C-K! SUCK SUCK SUCK!!!! Three points, against the BILLS? Really??? The ONE week I bet on them too. Bastards. Either way, Charlie can't bitch about me picking on the Giants, even though they only managed to beat the Dolphins (without Reggie Brown!) by 3 points! So if the Jets weren't so god awful, I'd probably be talking about that. Lord knows I'm not going to discuss a certain 52-7 debacle.

It's Wednesday again, I'm late again, and my hatred for Sam grows and grows, mirroring his climb further and further into first place. With the exception of the Vikings/Eagles game, which is the one pick I can fairly attribute to making my picks at 9am Sunday when I was still in really rough shape from the night before, it seems like I should have gone 12-1 this week and was somehow robbed.

Being that I'm slipping further and further BEHIND not only in this pool but in a few others, I'm going to have to start gambling much more heavily to feel better about the whole thing. I'll let you know how that all goes, probably from a Kinko's after I pawn my laptop.

If it's not obvious, I've been ripping a lot of the "content" on here from Kissing Suzy Kolber, so instead of copy/pasting it here, I'll just say again that it's pretty funny, and definitely worth reading. Especially the Schwarzenegger column to Shawne Merriman.

Lastly, Mike Greenberg put the over/under for THE game this week at 78. I wish that were the actual line just so I could put down a hundred bucks on over, because while 78 is a totally insane number, it's not really completely out of the realm of possibility, and everyone else would clearly take under. This was my get rich quick scheme this morning in the shower, that has faded under the harsh light of day. Goodnight.

Week 8
Sawyer (9-4)
Amy (7-6)
Charlie (9-4)
Sam (12-1)
Chris (10-3)
Jason (6-7)
Emily (9-4)
Abby (9-4)
Henock (9-4)
Bugel (6-7)
John (10-3)

Season To Date

Sawyer-59 points, 6th (tie)
Amy-59 points, 6th (tie)
Charlie-61 points, 4th
Sam-69 points, 1st
Chris-66 points, 2nd
Jason-55 points 7th (tie)
Emily-60 points, 5th
Abby-63 points, 3rd
Henock-59 points, 6th (tie)
Bugel-55 points, 7th (tie)
John-59 points, 6th (tie)

Week 9 Games
SUN, NOV 4 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Denver at Detroit 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Ford Field
San Francisco at Atlanta 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Georgia Dome
Cincinnati at Buffalo 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Ralph Wilson Stadium
Carolina at Tennessee 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel LP Field
Green Bay at Kansas City 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Arrowhead Stadium
San Diego at Minnesota 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Metrodome
Jacksonville at New Orleans 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Superdome
Washington at NY Jets 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Giants Stadium
Arizona at Tampa Bay 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Raymond James Stadium
Seattle at Cleveland 4:05 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Cleveland Browns Stadium
New England at Indianapolis 4:15 PM CBS Tickets | Travel RCA Dome
Houston at Oakland 4:15 PM CBS Tickets | Travel McAfee Coliseum
Dallas at Philadelphia 8:15 PM NBC Tickets | Travel Lincoln Financial Field
MON, NOV 5 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Baltimore at Pittsburgh 8:30 PM ESPN Tickets | Travel Heinz Field
· Bye: Chicago, St. Louis, Miami, NY Giants

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I didn't catch any of the games this week, because neither the apple orchard nor the bus, the places I spent the majority of my time Sunday, had TV. Go figure.

What actually is upsetting is that the orchard was OUT OF APPLES. Seriously. I didn't realize that could even happen. It's like going to the ocean but "whoops, sorry, we're out of sand!" If the hot cider weren't so damned good, and if I hadn't gotten to call a Donkey an Ass and enjoy it far too much, I would have been really upset.

It's already Wednesday because I never got around to updating yesterday, so there's not too much point in prattling on about last weeks games. The only thing that was so awesome that it can't be ignored was Randy Moss's catching the ball with his elbow. I can't fine a good clip on youtube, but he honestly caught it with the outside of his elbow, in coverage, and somehow rolled it around into his arms. Insane. Here's the best clip I could find.




Week 7

Sawyer (9-5)
Amy (9-3)
Charlie (11-3)
Sam (11-3)
Chris (10-4)
Jason (6-8)
Emily (10-4)
Abby (9-5)
Henock (10-4)
Bugel (9-5)
John (11-3)

Season To Date

Sawyer-50 points, 6th (tie)
Amy-52 points, 4th (tie)
Charlie-52 points, 4th (tie)
Sam-57 points, 1st
Chris-56 points, 2nd
Jason-49 points 7th (tie)
Emily-51 points, 5th
Abby-54 points, 3rd
Henock-50 points, 6th (tie)
Bugel-49 points, 7th (tie)
John-49 points, 7th (tie)

This Week's Games:
Week 8
SUN, OCT 28 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Indianapolis at Carolina 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Bank of America Stadium
Cleveland at St. Louis 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Edward Jones Dome
NY Giants at Miami 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Wembley Stadium
Philadelphia at Minnesota 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Metrodome
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Paul Brown Stadium
Detroit at Chicago 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Soldier Field
Oakland at Tennessee 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel LP Field
Buffalo at NY Jets 4:05 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Giants Stadium
Jacksonville at Tampa Bay 4:05 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Raymond James Stadium
Houston at San Diego 4:05 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Qualcomm Stadium
New Orleans at San Francisco 4:15 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Monster Park
Washington at New England 4:15 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Gillette Stadium
MON, OCT 29 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Green Bay at Denver 8:30 PM ESPN Tickets | Travel Invesco Field
· Bye: Atlanta, Dallas, Kansas City, Arizona, Seattle, Baltimore

I'd say "Go Skins", but come on...
But here's hoping, in the loosest sense of the word.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Pretty Blah Week.

First of all, The Giants. (I'm not even going to discuss how disgusted I am with the Skins and the Bears.)

Charlie, don't start yelling from the back of the office about this because I'm just going to ignore it. Anyway.

They're not that good. In my infinite wisdom of "slightly more than part time football fan", I lump them in the "pretty okay, but in the long term, who cares" category. Maybe they'll make the playoffs, but they're not going much past that. I can understand getting all excited about it if they were my team
(ahem, Charlie "BIG BLUE WRECKING CREW BABY" Kessler) because it's nice and all when your team beats the...Falcons?

But seriously, even the frontpage of the NFL section of ESPN has them as the big story. Admittedly, they're questioning just how good they are, but this win shouldn't even be that big of a story. New Orleans FINALLY starting to look like the team they were last year is a bigger deal. Sure it's probably too late for them, but still, thats at least an interesting story. Eli throwing to Plaxico again, really not that shocking. Sure the 25 TD's between them since 2005 is an impressive stat, and of course its an even bigger deal that it's tied for the highest number with Peyton/Harrison, but come on. It's not like anyone seriously thinks he's half the quarterback Peyton is.

Plus, Peyton is hilarious. Eli hasn't made any awesome SNL Digital shorts, now has he? A tip of the hat to Shockey for that awesome kick tackle. I ran into that guy in a gas station in Albany (the Giants summer facility is SUNY Albany), and he was in line ahead of us with two 12 packs of Michelob Light, and topped it off with two packs of Marb Lights. My friend and I debated asking him to either take us to a party, or come party with us, and to this day I regret it, because it was a pretty win win situation. Either he tells us to fuck off, and I have a new excuse to boo him every chance I get, or he takes us to some awesome strippers-on-a-boat
party, OR we get to take him to go sit in the woods and drink by a fire and shoot off fireworks and break bottles. But of course by the time we thought this through he was long gone and we were driving away. Bummer.


Also, if Ron Mexico weren't such a dog-fight-having degenerate piece of garbage, the Falcons would have probably won.

Oh so here's that SNL clip, and a sweet "Adventures of Lil' Eli and Lil' Peyton" audio clip from the Max Kellerman site.




Lil' Eli and Lil' Peyton

(And finally, as a member of the Max Kellerman Army, I highly reccomend checking out his site/podcasts, etc.)

Max Kellerman


Now that I'm done quasi plugging things/trying to make my life sound more interesting, here's the meat and potatoes.

Week 6 Results

Sawyer (7-6)
Amy (9-4)
Charlie (8-5)
Sam (8-5)
Chris (8-5)
Jason (8-5)
Emily (7-6)
Abby (7-6)
Henock (8-5)
Bugel (9-4)
John (6-7)

Season To Date

Sawyer-41 points, 4th (tie)
Amy-43 points, 3rd (tie)
Charlie-41 points, 4th (tie)
Sam-46 points, 1st (tie)
Chris-46 points, 1st (tie)
Jason-43 points 3rd (tie)
Emily-41 points, 4th (tie)
Abby-45 points, 2nd
Henock-40 points, 5th (tie)
Bugel-40 points, 5th (tie)
John-38 points, 6th

This week's games...

Week 7
SUN, OCT 21 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Tennessee at Houston 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Reliant Stadium
Baltimore at Buffalo 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Ralph Wilson Stadium
Minnesota at Dallas 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Texas Stadium
Tampa Bay at Detroit 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Ford Field
Arizona at Washington 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel FedEx Field
San Francisco at NY Giants 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Giants Stadium
Atlanta at New Orleans 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Superdome
New England at Miami 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Dolphin Stadium
Kansas City at Oakland 4:05 PM CBS Tickets | Travel McAfee Coliseum
NY Jets at Cincinnati 4:05 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Paul Brown Stadium
Chicago at Philadelphia 4:15 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Lincoln Financial Field
St. Louis at Seattle 4:15 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Qwest Field
Pittsburgh at Denver 8:15 PM NBC Tickets | Travel Invesco Field
MON, OCT 22 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Indianapolis at Jacksonville 8:30 PM ESPN Tickets | Travel ALLTEL Stadium
· Bye: Cleveland, Green Bay, San Diego, Carolina

The usual, picks in by 9am Sunday. One.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Busy, Busy, Busy...

(That's supposed to be me. I couldn't find any pictures of guys in 30 seconds of searching on google image search. Oh well.)

It's a whirlwind here at the Canterbury production office, so no time for my usual BS. Here are last week's results, the season standings so far, and this week's games. Maybe things will quiet down to a dull roar of activity so I can bore you with some useless posting later this week.

Week 5 Results

Sawyer (12-2)
Amy (7-7)
Charlie (11-3)
Sam (9-5)
Chris (11-3)
Jason (7-7)
Emily (9-5)
Abby (7-7)
Henock (10-4)
Bugel (10-4)
John (8-6)

Season To Date

Sawyer-34 points, 3rd (tie)
Amy-34 points, 3rd (tie)
Charlie-33 points, 4th
Sam-38 points, 1st (tie)
Chris-38 points, 1st (tie)
Jason-35 points 2nd
Emily-34 points, 3rd (tie)
Abby-38 points, 1st (tie)
Henock-32 points, 5th (tie)
Bugel-31 points, 6th
John-32 points, 5th (tie)

This Week's Games...
Week 6
SUN, OCT 14 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Minnesota at Chicago 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Soldier Field
Miami at Cleveland 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Cleveland Browns Stadium
Washington at Green Bay 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Lambeau Field
Cincinnati at Kansas City 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Arrowhead Stadium
Tennessee at Tampa Bay 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Raymond James Stadium
St. Louis at Baltimore 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel M&T Bank Stadium
Houston at Jacksonville 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel ALLTEL Stadium
Philadelphia at NY Jets 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Giants Stadium
Carolina at Arizona 4:05 PM Fox Tickets | Travel University of Phoenix Stadium
Oakland at San Diego 4:15 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Qualcomm Stadium
New England at Dallas 4:15 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Texas Stadium
New Orleans at Seattle 8:15 PM NBC Tickets | Travel Qwest Field
MON, OCT 15 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
NY Giants at Atlanta 8:30 PM ESPN Tickets | Travel Georgia Dome
· Bye: Buffalo, Denver, Detroit, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh, San Francisco

You know the drill, 9am Sunday. Go Skins.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007


I hate to say it but...
Randy Moss's ass cashed some checks CJ's mouth wrote. I don't know what it is about the Patriots, but I really can't stand them. A big part of it is Tom Brady. There's no logical reason for me to dislike him as much as I do. I think the closest I can come to a good reason is that he gets to impregnate supermodels but then be all "thanks but no thanks." Man, most guys, if we got to impregnate a supermodel, it would be hold-on-to-that-gravy-train-for-dear-life 24/7. This has even less to do with football than usual, but it grates on me. And I really, really, really like Chad Johnson and he's so exuberant and excited like a little kid...well a little kid with gold fronts...but I get legitimately bummed out when he doesn't do well. And Randy Moss is just a surly jerk who dogged until he got out of Oakland even though he was getting paid well enough to bathe in money if he wanted to.

How is any of this Tom Brady's fault? I don't know. And for all my talk, I did bet on the Patriots, because my wallet has learned to ignore my cold, cold heart. I love you anyway Chad. If there weren't so many jerks wearing this jersey already, I'd be sporting it in the office right now. Oh well.


And lastly, three idiots talking football. And someone gets hit with a hockey stick in the beginning.


Now that I've wasted a whole lot of your time, here's what you actually care about.

Week 4
Sawyer (5-9)
Amy (7-6)
Charlie (6-8)
Sam (8-6)
Camuto (5-9)
Jason (8-6)
Emily (6-8)
Abby (8-6)
Henock (6-8)
Bugel (4-10)
John (7-7)

Season To Date
Sawyer- 22 points, 7th (tie)
Amy- 27 points, 4th (tie)
Charlie- 22 points, 7th, (tie)
Sam- 29 points, 2nd
Chris- 27 points, 4th
Jason- 28 points, 3rd
Emily- 25 points, 5th
Abby- 31 points, 1st
Henock- 22 points, 7th (tie)
Bugel- 21 points, 8th
John- 24 points, 6th

And this week's games...
SUN, OCT 7 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Miami at Houston 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Reliant Stadium
Atlanta at Tennessee 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel LP Field
Jacksonville at Kansas City 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Arrowhead Stadium
NY Jets at NY Giants 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Giants Stadium
Carolina at New Orleans 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Superdome
Arizona at St. Louis 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Edward Jones Dome
Cleveland at New England 1:00 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Gillette Stadium
Seattle at Pittsburgh 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel Heinz Field
Detroit at Washington 1:00 PM Fox Tickets | Travel FedEx Field
Tampa Bay at Indianapolis 4:05 PM Fox Tickets | Travel RCA Dome
San Diego at Denver 4:15 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Invesco Field
Baltimore at San Francisco 4:15 PM CBS Tickets | Travel Monster Park
Chicago at Green Bay 8:15 PM NBC Tickets | Travel Lambeau Field
MON, OCT 8 TIME (ET) TV RESOURCES LOCATION
Dallas at Buffalo 8:30 PM ESPN Tickets | Travel Ralph Wilson Stadium
· Bye: Cincinnati, Oakland, Minnesota, Philadelphia


As usual, get 'em in by 9am Sunday, and Go Skins.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Rough Weekend AKA "Hang It Up San Diego!"


Were I less lazy I'd start a petition to force the Chargers to formally disband as a franchise. Kansas City? Seriously?

So far no one's looking too hot this week, with only Abby, Sam and Jason above .500. I'll put up the numbers tomorrow morning, but I felt like updating today, so here's a post from the "Kissing Suzy Kolber" blog that I thought was pretty funny.

Roethlisberger Burn

From a gambling perspective, here's hoping the Pats win tonight so my week is slightly less abysmal. From every other standpoint, I hope they all get hit by a truck and Ocho Cinco is driving.

See you tomorrow.